CosmicWise

...lighting the candle of personal awareness & becoming ...

THE LAW OF
HARMONY & AGREEMENT

The Law of Harmony and Agreement states that efforts to manipulate, trick coerce or force another to behave in harmony and agreement will only disrupt previously established areas of harmony and agreement. Yet, even between the most hostile enemies, some area of harmony and agreement can be discovered when there is an agreement to discover these areas.

Ever increasing harmony and agreement grows from the mutual agreement to discover more areas of agreement. This Law is based on discovering harmony and agreement rather than on its enforcement.

"When you affirm your own rightness in the universe, then you co-operate with others easily and automatically as part of your own nature. You, being yourself, helps others be themselves. Because you recognize your own uniqueness you will not need to dominate others, nor cringe before them."
~ Jane Roberts ~

The fact is, we ALL assert ourselves in life one way or the other. Ideally, when we assert ourselves we are doing it with an eye on the course that our OWN lives are taking, not someone else’s. However, what does one do with their assertive-energy-accumulations if they are not using them to assert the course of their own lives? Well.. they look out at the world with the knack (albeit an unconscious one) for immediately “spotting” everyone out there that seems to not be asserting themselves as they should be and directing their own unused energies to those individuals and “imposing” themselves on them.

Now.. though it doesn’t seem that way at all when we’re on the receiving end of someone else’s control issues, our “imposers” honestly do believe they have the best of intentions, however those intentions are anything but welcome, as we all well know. But why are we so uncomfortable with someone else’s control issues?.. unless, of course, we suffer from control issues ourselves. Aha! That there’s the real (hidden) issue all along. We don’t welcome other people’s point’s of view if and when they hit too close to home or for comfort. What this means is, when others are imposing themselves on us, what they are actually doing is causing us to get in-touch with our own inner passivity. We all tend to be passive in certain areas of our lives precisely because we DON’T feel comfortable being in CONTROL of them in the first place. We therefore resent anyone who is “forcing” us to look at this in ourselves.

For some of us, our unassertiveness extends out to our whole life experience so any situation that “smells” like control puts us on the defensive. To others, it may just be one small area of our lives--only each individual can know for sure—but whatever the case, the situation feels mighty uncomfortable to us. It’s tempting to cast blame at these times yet the real problem lies closer to home and we’re the only one’s that can correct the underlying problem that keeps us from being able to find agreement and harmony with those in our midst. Ultimately, our real discomfort with controlling people is the awareness they provoke in us—they make us aware of things we’d prefer to not look at.

Hence, when we aren’t asserting the course of our own lives, in whatever way that might be, and others come to fill-in those empty gaps for us, we’ve got to learn to not confuse the message we are getting with the messenger. In other words, make the most of the message and remember the messenger isn’t the bad guy! The fact is that we often do the same thing to others, quite unthinkingly of course, more often than we may be aware of—it’s just that others may not openly mention it to us so we don’t know when others feel the same way about us.

Most of us don’t do it with a deliberate and conscious intent to control and manipulate, it’s usually quite unconscious, although in the case of children we do it quite deliberately believing this is the “right” way to treat our children when in fact we are imposing ourselves on them just as others impose themselves on us. Something to think about when we’re dealing with children—whether our own or those of others.

If we aren’t taking the lead in our own lives, others with control issues of their own, will inevitably come along to “show” us the level of passivity we’ve come to accept as normal in our lives. Bottom line, we can remain oblivious to the psycho-dynamic that is taking place and resent others who come across as controlling and dominating, or we can (secretly) be grateful for the lesson they are offering us--for reflecting back to us something we’ve been blind to up until then. It’s not a matter of having to agree with the other person—not at all—rather, these are opportunities for us to see the many varied ways in which we avoid ourselves and to get cracking on our personal inner work.

Even after we work out many of our own control issues we will still find ourselves encountering others who attempt to control us. At that point, their "assertiveness" won't bother us because we will see it for what it is--their problem. Still, it doesn't mean that we have nothing left to learn. For one, it is an opportunity for us to help others see through their own control issues. The tricky part is doing it without triggering off the other person's defenses, which are always geared to interpreting any effort at changing them as a tactic of control. The more we practice it the more we will discover that the only thing that REALLY works--all the time, everytime--is pure and unadulterated love.

It all boils down to the wording of the Law itself, and to what one of my reader’s said, and I quote: “Affirming my "Rightness" in the universe allows me to co-operate with others easily and automatically.” I couldn’t have said it better myself.

*~»§«~*~»«~*~»§«~*~»«~*~»§«~* *~»§«~*~»«~*~»§«~*~»«~*~»§«~*

Reader's comment #1:
All of our relationships and the way we interact with other people are based on agreements made by ourselves. Consciously or unconsciously, we agree in the way we will interact (behave) with certain people, and that people will expect this interaction (behavior) by agreement. If we are not “ok” with this kind of relationship (interaction-behavior), we need to establish a new agreement with this person in order to find the harmony needed to interact peacefully. If we can’t solve the matter, then we separate, break up, etc. And since this realm is to be lived and explored by experiencing things using our free-will, to try to lead the actions of another person to fit our own needs, is to go against the meaning of existence and the harmony of the Universe.

We are not suppose to do as others say, or think as other people think, trying to reach harmony by putting our own ideas aside, but to be ourselves and express our uniqueness as the quote says. In expressing our uniqueness we are better able to accept the uniqueness of others. No attachments, just the awareness of the differences between all of us and the beauty in that… the uniqueness.

Reader's comment #2:
Harmony. Sounds so easy, but when we just lift our eyes -- no matter where, it lacks. It takes such a balance of so many ingredients to master it, so in my path I have made a point of trying to applaud my advances. Being assertive, truly assertive and yet calm too, is hard, and so we human beings try out an inordinate amount of "tactics". I laugh a bit about it, because at least in my case when I watch outside the movie of what I have done many times... what else can I do? Make it conscious, learn and move on. You mention the word manipulation and now it's so clear to me that it comes from an absolute sense of lack and the wish to control. I think that in most relationships there is so much fear, speaking in general. Fear of being abused, fear of being hurt, fear of being abandoned...you name it. But life teaches us little by little. Within time I have come to appreciate the value of Surrender, that important word in Eastern Philosophy. It's a big truth. I am much more relaxed in that sense than I used to in the past. Little egos are so stubborn! Yet, they make us suffer so needlessly, right? One thing I am SURE of now is for example, that you can't force things. What will be yours will be, what will not simply will not. And also, that there is a WISE reason for that. I have usually discovered that later.

Reader's comment #3:
This reminded me of the law of relationship in some areas...being authentic and not wearing a mask or having others wear a mask so we are controlling or manipulating and no one is being real with each other. Being able to live and let live....agreeing to disagree on some things but with an openness to another's point of view as being who they uniquely are, and finding the points between us that are in agreement. My significant other holds strong convictions in a certain religious belief while I have a spiritual smorgasboard point of view, believing we are all one. This can be a big contention in relationships...religion and politics...But we just accept that we see things differently, neither of us tries to convince the other to believe what we believe. It's so refreshing to have this, and then there are many areas of life that we are in agreement about. It really works well for us as neither is trying to proselytize the other to our way of thinking...and we both talk about our beliefs with no arguements, it just flows. I have much gratitude to have someone that I can be myself with and not be made to feel I need to change to their way of thinking....and I respect his beliefs and love that it brings him joy.... That doesn't mean we don't have areas we need to work on and though, but as for spirituality we agree to disagree without discord.

Reader's comment #4:
From the moment we simply agree with WHAT IS, there is harmony. That doesn't mean we don’t have preferences, but there is acceptance of the present as it is right now. We only have to take a look at all the things in our life we never had problems with. As long all goes well, we don’t question things, we simply accept without thinking, taking it for granted. The result is that those things remain in their natural state and health and harmony can prevail.

Whenever we consider the 'me' as a person, we create a reference point in opposition with a ‘not-me’. Where the 'me' agrees, the 'me' grows bigger, creating harmony. So in fact life is a journey leading to harmony, as we learn to recognize ALL the parts of ourself and learn to accept them and withdraw those projections back to ourselves. To heal we don’t have to look blindly at what happens, but rather question ourselves about which quality it handles, so we can improve the expression of that specific quality.