CosmicWise

...lighting the candle of personal awareness & becoming ...

Anger

Comment: You seem like such a calm and patient person in general, do you ever get angry?

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Response: Anger is an energetic way of expressing feelings, especially where our limits and boundaries are clearly being trod on, or overstepped, by others. I have discovered that those who would overstep our boundaries are, more often than not, those who have not clearly defined their own.

I used to see all matters as either 'conflicting' or 'non-conflicting'. I was either relaxed or uptight and, as a result, I was either happy or unhappy. Basically, the problem was that I equated feelings of anger with unhappiness. As a result, I had a habit of interpreting my anger, especially during my early years, as a dangerous thing to express openly with others. I had learned to expect resistance from others, to be sure, but more importantly, I feared the threat of punishment that would surely come in some form or other if I did give in to my emotions. Clearly, an expression of anger makes others react in one of two ways, they either want to escape us (flee) or to defend themselves against us (fight) depending on the person.

When allowed and not feared anger is perfectly normal and ought to be applied in our lives as a means of making oneself heard when nothing else seems to be working. Of course, I am not above getting angry but I rarely (if ever) rate these feelings as either good or bad these days. However, should I find myself doing it, I would immediately know there was something still in my personal "Shadow" that needed releasing. Knowing this makes me even MORE determined to allow for anger's expression, because in doing so I not only keep anger from accumulating to dangerous levels but I also release it to my awareness where it's energetic control over me is returned to my conscious control.

Ironically, the more we allow ourselves to expel pent up feelings from our system, the less actual anger we are prone to feeling in general. Eventually, we find that even when people overstep our boundaries, it doesn't "feel" like a major deal--we are able to make light about it. The freedom to express anger as it arises is a healthy activity, for the energy it represents remains ours; it does not remain bound to our subconscious tendencies. The energy that moves us to anger when we embrace it willingly, strengthens us so that our boundaries become clearly marked and seen not only by us but by others as well. Likewise, restricting anger's expression, is weakening; a suppression of anger is actually disempowering. If our boundaries are not clear, we inadvertently invite conflict into our lives. Until we learn where our boundaries lie and enforce our limits with others, we must learn to accept and make room for anger for it will arise.

Demitra M.N.